The Joy Idol

It had been a really, really hard week. I was lost somewhere between being hurt and wanting to be happy. I felt apathetic, as if I kept on running into brick walls. By now, I probably had the emotional equivalent of a brain concussion. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be joyful. Good? Well, in some ways, yes, but not this time. This was a different type of want. I saw pain, felt pain, and then stomped my foot and demanded joy.

I wanted to be able and smile at people and say, "It is well with my soul." I wanted to show strength in times of trouble and peace in face of pain, in short, everything I did not have. But I couldn't. Then, after awhile, I realized I was looking for joy within myself. Tried pulling it out with my own strength. And that's not how joy happens. It comes from God, not as something we can expect or demand, but a gift.

Joy is piece of grace that God gives during hard times. Yet I looked at joy as if it alone could get me through the days. I made an idol of it. Joy is a sign-bearer, and the sign points to God. You can't see and have true joy without Him. He is the one who bears us through our trials. He is the one who gives true joy.

There's joy in this moment. And it is all a gift. An amazing, wondrous, and simply beautiful gift.